Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

2004-08-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

ABDALLA: Swahili equivalent of Arabic, ABDULLAH, "servant of God."

ADE: "Royal one."

ADOM: Akan of Ghana name meaning "help from God" or "God's blessing."

AMADI: Ibo of Nigeria unisexual name, referring to the Sun God, meaning "rejoice."

ASANTE: Kiswahili word for "thank you."

2004-07-23T18:14:00.000-07:00

What is your name?:	Ayanna
Are you named after anyone?:	nope
What's your screename?:	seche
Would you name a child of yours after you?:	nah..there are so many names around
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?:	devon
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?:	nobody nah
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?:	Ayana ; Iyana
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?:	DEFINITELY! I dont want my father to say that I am his daughter.
Basics
Your gender::	I think that question should be asking for my sex eh....female
Straight/Gay/Bi::	straight as a pin; i love piggy
Single?:	not any more
If not, do you want to be?:	nope
Birthdate::	14 feb
Your age::	25
Age you act::	I would like to think I act 25
Age you wish you were::	18 and I wish I had the knowledge that I have now
Your height::	5 feet 6 inches
Eye color::	brown
Happy with it?:	yeah
Hair color::	brown/black
Happy with it?:	yeah
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous::	right handed
Your living arrangement::	on my own, not by choice though
Your family::	small
Have any pets?:	nope
Whats your job?:	educator of young minds
Piercings?:	three in each ear
Tattoos?:	nope
Obsessions?:	reality shows
Addictions?:	Carol's tamarind balls
Do you speak another language?:	yes french spanish and a lil japanese
Have a favorite quote?:	You are a God among insects-Magneto
Do you have a webpage?:	yes
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?:	yes I do
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?:	not all the time
Do you have any secrets?:	yes
Do you hate yourself?:	sometimes
Do you like your handwriting?:	yeah. I learned cursive using vere foster books
Do you have any bad habits?:	yeah..i procrastinate
What is the compliment you get from most people?:	you're a good listener
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?:	school Daze
What's your biggest fear?:	to disappoint my family
Can you sing?:	i USED to sing in my school choir so yeah I can
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?:	yeah
Are you a loner?:	sometimes yes
What are your #1 priorities in life?:	happiness, education, improving relationship with God
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:	yes I think I make an interesting lime at times
Are you a daredevil?:	no way
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?:	I dont like my temper
Are you passive or agressive?:	both when i need to be
Do you have a journal?:	yeah
What is your greatest strength and weakness?:	strength-I may complain but I come up with solutions to the problems. Weakness- I think about myself a lot
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?:	my need for complete privacy. It shuts out people at times
Do you think you are emotionally strong?:	yes I am
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?:	dont get me started on regrets. But I never regret initiating a convo with my bf hee hee
Do you think life has been good so far?:	it has had its downs, but overall yes. God has been good.
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?:	Dont give up. If you ride out a storm, you will see blue skies again
What do you like the most about your body?:	my eyes
And least?:	my boobs
Do you think you are good looking?:	yes I am
Are you confident?:	somewhat
What is the fictional character you are most like?:	wow tough question
Are you perceived wrongly?:	by students, but that's done on purpose
Do You...
Smoke?:	no
Do drugs?:	no
Read the newspaper?:	yes
Pray?:	yes
Go to church?:	yes
Talk to strangers who IM you?:	no
Sleep with stuffed animals?:	no
Take walks in the rain?:	only when I am caught off guard
Talk to people even though you hate them?:	yes
Drive?:	not yet
Like to drive fast?:	no
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?:	yeah
Hurt yourself?:	on purpose? no
Been out of the country?:	yes
Eaten something that made other people sick?:	made ME sick!!!
Been in love?:	oh yeah
Done drugs?:	no
Gone skinny dipping?:	no
Had a medical emergency?:	yes when I was 8
Had surgery?:	thank God no
Ran away from home?:	yes
Played strip poker?:	no
Gotten beaten up?:	no
Beaten someone up?:	no
Been picked on?:	no
Been on stage?:	yes
Slept outdoors?:	no
Thought about suicide?:	yes
Pulled an all nighter?:	no
If yes, what is your record?:	nil
Gone one day without food?:	no
Talked on the phone all night?:	yes
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?:	yes
Slept all day?:	yes
Killed someone?:	no
Made out with a stranger?:	no
Had sex with a stranger?:	no
Thought you're going crazy?:	yes
Kissed the same sex?:	no
Done anything sexual with the same sex?:	no
Been betrayed?:	yes...damn ass! where is he now huh?? HUH?? j/k
Had a dream that came true?:	I have had episodes of deja vu
Broken the law?:	no
Met a famous person?:	Kitchener. He piched my cheek in Hilo when I was about 7
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?:	no
On purpose?:	no
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?:	yeah
Stolen anything?:	no
Been on radio/tv?:	yes..radio
Been in a mosh-pit?:	no
Had a nervous breakdown?:	i thought I was having one when I was in sixth form
Bungee jumped?:	no
Had a dream that kept coming back?:	yeah. I was always in a car where the driver couldnt drive anymore and I had to drive
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?:	who knows
Miracles?:	yes
Astrology?:	no
Magic?:	no
God?:	yes
Satan?:	yeah
Santa?:	not any more
Ghosts?:	eeekk!
Luck?:	yes
Love at first sight?:	no
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?:	no
Witches?:	no
Easter bunny?:	no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?:	yes
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?:	no
Do you wish on stars?:	not any more
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?:	yes
Do you think God has a gender?:	yup..that's what I was made to believe
Do you believe in organized religion?:	no, but I am part of one
Where do you think we go when we die?:	that I am not sure of nah
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?:	yeah
Who is your best friend?:	i dont have a best friend nah
Who's the one person that knows most about you?:	my friend in the states
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?:	wow..I have gotten some good advice in my life
Your favourite inside joke?:	Dark Lord
Thing you're picked on most about?:	my loud laughter
Who's your longest known friend?:	my friend in the states
Newest?:	Cary
Shyest?:	i dont know
Funniest?:	Alana
Sweetest?:	Cary
Closest?:	Friend in the states
Weirdest?:	I dont have weird friends
Smartest?:	we all intelligent
Ditziest?:	no ditzy friends either
Friends you miss being close to the most?:	sec school friends
Last person you talked to online?:	my HOD
Who do you talk to most online?:	my bf
Who are you on the phone with most?:	my bf
Who do you trust most?:	my sister
Who listens to your problems?:	my bf and my sis
Who do you fight most with?:	i dont fight
Who's the nicest?:	my niece
Who's the most outgoing?:	Sonja. she talks to EVERYBODY
Who's the best singer?:	Sonja too. She is in a parang group
Who's on your shit-list?:	gosh..that is a long one
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?:	once they are my friend, I'm not attracted to them like that
Who's your second family?:	my family is enough
Do you always feel understood?:	no
Who's the loudest friend?:	Alana
Do you trust others easily?:	not easily
Who's house were you last at?:	my bf
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in::	my bf
Do your friends know you?:	yes they do know me a lil better
Friend that lives farthest away::	my friend in the states
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?:	no
What do you find romantic?:	lots of things
Turn-on?:	love of giving oral sex
Turn-off?:	bad hygiene
First kiss?:	sloppy
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?:	bad. I dont like hurting people's feelings
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going:	yeah
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out:	i did it a few times
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv:	beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?:	some yeah
What is best about the opposite sex?:	intelligence
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?:	large appetite for sex
What's the last present someone gave you?:	pearls
Are you in love?:	yes
Do you consider your significant other hot?:	muy caliente!
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?:	nil
You wanted to kill?:	she reads this blog
That you laughed at?:	the man who was trying to say strategically on the news
That laughed at you?:	some student I'm sure
That turned you on?:	my bf
You went shopping with?:	my sister
That broke your heart?:	my ex
To disappoint you?:	my mom
To ask you out?:	cant remember
To make you cry?:	my mom
To brighten up your day?:	my niece
That you thought about?:	my sister
You saw a movie with?:	my bf
You talked to on the phone?:	my bf
You talked to through IM/ICQ?:	my hod
You saw?:	my sis
You lost?:	no one
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?:	no
Will it be with your significant other?:	no
Or some random person?:	no
What are you wearing right now?:	home clothes
Body part you're touching right now::	my leg with my elbow
What are you worried about right now?:	how am I going to buy all the things I need with THIS salary?
What book are you reading?:	reader's digest
What's on your mousepad?:	dell
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling::	tired, peckish, bored, miserable, loved
Are you bored?:	yeah!
Are you tired?:	yeah
Are you talking to anyone online?:	no
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?:	no
Are you lonely or content?:	content
Are you listening to music?:	no

Really Long Survey (over 200) brought to you by BZOINK!

2004-02-28T15:38:00.000-08:00

Which Naruto Character are You?
quiz by orangeday.net

2004-02-22T02:01:00.000-08:00

I guess I havent written in here a while because I tell you what's in my mind all the time.

I just feel blessed with you in my life.

I was reading a forward today which said that God sends some "not so good" people in your life so that when u find the "one", you will know and you will be grateful.

Before I bought my own computer, I used my sister's own. And she remembers when I used to talk about you and how I used to say you were so sour. hee hee
she reminded me about that on my birthday when she called.

You are the love of my life.

2003-12-31T14:41:00.000-08:00

ANGEL OF MINE-MONICA

When I first saw you I already knew,
There was something inside of you,
Something I thought that I would never find,
Angel of mine.

I look at you, Lookin at me,
Now I know why they say the best things are free,
I'm gonna love you boy, you are so fine,
Angel of mine.

How you changed my world, you'll never know,
I'm different now, you helped me grow,
You came into my life sent from above,
When I lost all hope you showed me love,
I'm checkin for ya boy you're right on time,
Angel of mine

Nothing means more to me than what we share
No one in this whole world can ever compare
Last night the way you moved is still on my mind.
Angel of Mine

What you mean to me you'll never know
Deep inside I need to show,
You came into my life sent from above (Sent from above)
When I lost all hope, You showed me love (Boy you showed me love)
I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time (Right on time)
Angel of Mine (angel of mine)

I never knew I could feel each moment
As if it were new,
Every breath that I take, the love that we make,
I only share it with you (you, you, you, you)
When I first saw you I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find,
Angel of Mine.

You came into my life sent from above (Came into my life yeah yeah yeah)
When I lost all hope you showed me love (boy you showed me love, uh huh)
Im checkin for ya, boy you're right on time (Boy you're right on time)
Angel of mine (angel of mine, oh mine)

How you changed my world, you'll never know,
I'm different now, you helped me grow,
I look at you lookin at me,
Now I know why they say the best things are free
I'm checkin for ya, boy you're right on time
Angel of mine

2003-12-13T11:46:00.000-08:00

To my baby:

I just want to tell you THANK YOU! You have been there for me through all the good times and bad times; for two people who just got together, we have had some rough times huh? But those things have just brought us closer together.
I cant imagine my life anymore without you by my side supporting me and loving me. You make things just seem so much better and so much more manageable. I Thank you.

You are a good man. You have stood by me when others older and with more experiences would have fled. I dont think you would ever know how much that has meant to me, especially this past week.

I love you with all my heart and soul.

Happy anniversary baby!

2003-12-06T14:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down
in the overall performance - particularly in the flower and jewelry
applications,
which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no
longer runs,
and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running
Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband
1.0
is an Operating System. Try to enter the command:C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME
to
download
Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that
application works
as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Jewelry 2.0
& Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to
Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1
is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall the
Boyfriend Program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband
1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
-Tech Support

2003-11-29T09:07:00.000-08:00

ok
MY reasons why I love my boyfriend (to beat Traci's list)
1-He is always interested in how my day was
2-he holds my hand whereever we go
3- when we sleep next to each other, he always has his arm around me
4-his hugs are the best. I always get a hug whenever I see him
5- he tries to give me whatever I want (as long as it's not unreasonable)
6-he is very good at pleasuring me...VERY good! hee hee
7- when we are together, i feel as if I am the only person in his world.
8-when he has to go to work to different places, he asks me to go with him
9- he values my opinion a lot
10- when he gets in from jogging, he calls me to let me know he's safe
11-he brings lunch for me whenever I dont feel like cooking
12-he rubs my belly when I have cramps
13- he took care of me when I was feeling sick
14- sometimes when we are talking he would say "i real love you" in the middle of our conversations
15- my face is breaking out and he still says I'm beautiful
16- when he's on the phone, he makes these funny faces which makes me laff.
17-He helps me with my psych class by borrowing books in the library
18- he gives some really cool advice when ever I have a problem
19- He gives good massages
20- he listens to me whenever I have had a bad day and with the job I have, that's a large number
21- he calls me and leans on me when things get rough
22- he trusts me
23- he pays close attention to me when I am speaking
24- he is always honest with me even if it might make me feel bad
25- He designed my blog (I cant do this even if I tried)
26- If we had a falling out, he would come and see me and we would work it out in person
27- whenever we are eating we always have nice conversations
28- when he looks into my eyes, I can see that he sincerely loves me

ok ok..this is not hard..just some things will over lap...

2003-11-23T15:44:00.000-08:00

yes I love my boyfriend

I love the way he holds me

I love the way he kisses me

I love the way he tells me I'm beautiful

I love the way he looks into my eyes when he tells me he loves me

I love the conversations we have

I love when we sit and have a meal together.

I love the jokes he likes to play on me (sometimes)

I love to look at him when he sleeps

2003-11-22T05:33:00.000-08:00

Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of
Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure
>how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in
>bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such
>valued lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early
>bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense
>lived by simple, sound, financial policies (don't spend more than you
>earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in
>charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned
>but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old
>boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens
>suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher
>fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It
>declined even further when schools were required to get parental
>consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the
>parents when a student purchases a condom from the restroom vending
>machine or when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

> Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments
>became contraband, churches became passive and unloving, and criminals
>received better treatment than their victims. So, Common Sense finally
>gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of
>coffee is HOT, spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge
>settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth
>and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his
>son, Reason. He is survived by a stepbrother, My Rights; and a
>stepsister, Im a Winner. Not many attended his funeral be cause so few
>realized he was gone. If you still know him, share this ...if not, you
>can kill him again.

I like stuff like this

2003-11-17T09:41:00.000-08:00

yuh know, some people are of the opinion that u need sex to feel closer to a person. Not necessarily so as I found out last night...and this morning...

if you have some food and some laughs, you can get closer to someone I think on an even better level than sex.

Last night I was just liming with Glenn (my bf) and we were just talking and laffing yuh know..and it was so cool. We spoke about a lot of things..and he is such a prankster eh...too cute!!

anyway..a few horny moments were had, yes..but the bulk of the time was spent getting to know each other better and just having fun.

Last night just cemented what I already knew... that Glenn is not just the guy I lime with, but this is my lover as well as my friend...I can ask him to rub my belly for me when it hurts as well as please me till my eyes roll up in my head. I can call him and complain about my day and he will listen and try to make me feel better as well as.....well...

what more yuh could want that that eh???

*MUAH*

doesnt need explaining....

2003-11-17T09:40:00.000-08:00

last night "rocked"..get it babes?..."rocked"

I was "shaken" up by the experience...get that one too??

This was supposed to be euphemisms for the earth shattering orgasms I had that night.
Yeah, kinda lame huh....

2003-11-17T09:10:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day!! I didnt go to work!!

I went to the doctor and I'll have you know I am one healthy girl. My BP is normal and I dont have diabetes.
My bf came with me which was so cool. We ran some errands and we were SUPPOSED to see matrix but I was feeling real cranky.
He was so sweet and attentive. That really helped to get me out of that mood. it was just a really cool day.

and after all that I still went to class.

he really was sweet that day. I was very cranky for some reason..up to now I dont know why..but he hugged me up a lot and told me some really comforting things.
I was good enough to go to class.

2003-11-17T09:07:00.000-08:00

life is a roller coaster indeed..one minute you're up and LITERALLY the next minute something can happen to change things....last night I was really mad as I am sure you realised....I was so mad I was mean to that drunk man and I didnt care...but u need to realise that what u do will affect me....

last night was nice....just simple and fun.

OH HO!! This was the night when I stormed off on him..I eh go lie..he get on real dotish!!!! I was real mad!!!

but the night was a really good one!

2003-11-17T09:04:00.000-08:00

This weekend has got to be one of the best I have ever had. It was just real nice and fun. Typing about it now, I real smiling..

aaawww..look at him sleeping..so peaceful.... I going and harass dat now!!!
_________________

he really looks adorable when he is asleep.....

2003-11-17T08:58:00.000-08:00

I am really lucky to be with the man I'm with now. I like the fact that we can resolve things in a timely manner. No setta waiting around, hemming and hawwing..we deal with things. And after we deal with them, we get closer and get to know each other more.
I'm not the best girlfriend, I would be the first to admit that. Time is always against me and I hardly get to do the things that i want to show him how much I care. I try to do it in lil ways, like wear a top or perfume that he likes, have a supply of his fav beverage by me..but compared to the things he does for me..that is real small shit....he deserves more, so much more. He's a good man. He does everything so perfectly. I was sick tonight and he took such good care of me, that I feel better now. There is nobody else I know who would do that for me..NOBODY! He was angry with me when he dropped me home; I was sad when he drove off, but a few mins later he came back and we were able to work things out. He is the kind of man I have been praying for all my life.

I know we can work thru things, I know things will get better

He was so angry he said he wanted a break for the weekend and drove off. Then..I just heard him call out my name and i knew we would work out things.

2003-11-17T08:55:00.000-08:00

You love me especially different every time
You keep me on my feet happily excited
By your cologne, your hands, your smile, your intelligence
You woo me, you court me, you tease me, you please me
You school me, give me some things to think about
Ignite me, you invite me, you co-write me, you love me, you like me
You incite me to chorus, ooh
Ooh...

You're different and special
You're different and special in every way imaginable
You love me from my hair follicles to my toenails
You got me feeling like the breeze, easy and free and lovely and new
Oh when you touch me I just can't control it
When you touch me, I just can't hold it
The emotion inside of me, I can feel it

He loves me by Jill Scott
_________________

bad ass song right there!! The words say enough!!

2003-11-17T08:53:00.000-08:00

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

This is an exyract of a song by Luther Vandross. My Bf played this song for me while I was in work. Talk about Grin!!! LOL...That was the first time anyone ever did that for me.

2003-11-17T08:51:00.000-08:00

ok ok..I am possessive....not ridiculously so, but I am...i really dont like to share. I mean, I just found him..cant I have him all to myself for a lil bit??

At that time, I really didnt want to share him. I dont want anybody else discovering my "peculiar treasure". Next thing yuh know they want to take him from me....

2003-11-17T08:49:00.000-08:00

Today wasnt a very good day for me..nothing happened..to me..
but to my boyfriend and I was thinking about it all day. Although he reassured me over and over that he was fine, I was still worried. I tried to appear normal to everyone and my coworkers were none the wiser.

Is this what's being in a relationship about? not really taking on the other person's problem..but it's like what bothers him, bothers me...hmmm..

I dont mind.....

This was a very defining moment for me in this relationship. Normally I am able to not care about ppl eh. Sometimes in my head I say "yuh know what? Is not me." So I dont worry about it too much. But I was sincerely worried about him, really worried and I want to just give him a big hug...

2003-11-17T08:46:00.000-08:00

well hear nah..you make up fuh dat brace real proper!!!!

all of a sudden, my headache is gone..it's a miracle!!!

he really did make up for that brace I get yes!!! WAY!!!
THAT was intense!!

2003-11-17T08:45:00.000-08:00

well well..look at that..I get brace fuh 1) Batman
2) Star Wars computer game

but fuh fucking KFC dread??? NAH!!!

Oh my..I feel a really bad head ache coming on....I think this is going to last for the week....

i remember this LOL...I was really going and brace him yuh know....hee hee

2003-11-17T08:43:00.000-08:00

I was going to work this morning and I heard on the news that a clico executive was found dead. Now this guy was the father of a girl I knew from sec school....I saw him just a few weeks ago in Barataria right by me and he looked fine..now he's dead...

anytime anyone leaves by me, I always tell them call me no matter the hour. It's not to keep tabs or anything..I genuinely want to know if you got home safely..shit happens eh...but my manly friends like to say "nah I go get home safe man..doh worry about me," but I know how would I feel if I were one of the last ppl to see you alive..it happened to me last year where one Thursday afternoon I waved goodbye to one of my coworkers; the next day I found out he was dead...murdered in his own home...

I tell all my friends and family on a fairly regular basis that they are important to me; some take me on, some dont..eh..at least I do it...I dont ever want any of my family or friends to guess how I feel about them. At times it's a lil intense, but at least you know right?

I try to let my friends know all the time how I feel...I just wish it were reciprocated.

2003-11-17T08:42:00.000-08:00

I had a very strange dream....I dreamt a friend pulled me out of the water when I was drowning, which is such a weird thing because he always seems to be "saving" me, even when he is unaware...
I thank him for that......

This was such a cool dream. He just reached in and pull me out just as I was going under. I remember I was telling him about this dream and he asked me when is someone going to rescue him. My heart just broke. :(

2003-11-17T08:39:00.000-08:00

You know, when someone says that they didnt know they were getting horn, I dont believe it. ALL the evidence is in front of you..it's just up to you to figure it out.

For example, me, when I was about 17, was with my first boyfriend..he used to proclaim how much he loved and I believed him..what an ass...

now check this simple equation out:

him not wanting me to get close to his best friend because she kept all his secrets + mandating to me that I call before I went by him even though we lived in the same street + never wanting to commit his weekends to me because he might have something to do + seeing the corner of a condom pack on the floor even though we hadnt had sex in a long time = HORN

As you can see, all the evidence was before me..i just didnt do the math very quickly...

eh...who cares..he's not in my life anymore

This was a very controversial post. A lot of ppl thought that I thought that my bf was horning. lol reading now I can see how ppl thought that, but that wasnt the purpose. actually it was supposed to be about trusting your instincts. At that time there were some things that were bothering me and my instincts were telling me all was not well. and they were right. Luckily they have been resolved now. :D

2003-11-17T08:35:00.000-08:00

I went to matches' exhibition last year and I was blown away by his talent. Look at my av..some ppl dont like it, but I think he did an excellent job for someone who only spoke to me briefly before doing it.
I was liming with Strongy one time and he was showing me some of his art...and I was really awe struck at the stuff that he did. Newsday and Guardian dont know the talent that they have on their hands.....

I listen to neo's music and I think..no... I KNOW he can make it to international level. detnator featuring linkin park..hee hee

I read Crash's posts and articles and I am amazed at the way he makes use of the English language. I am literally drawn into his articles. I say to myself if he wrote a book I would buy it .
Quincy has a natural talent to make ppl laff ( just read route 69 lol) but he also has a such a creative mind and such a unique point of view...

To put it simply..these guys are bosses at what they do and in talking to them, I know they have big dreams.
I wish them all the best in their endeavours....

(strongy's thread inspired this post)

I ask myself...what is my talent?? EH?? really??

2003-11-17T08:28:00.000-08:00

Time to face the music....
the past three weeks were the best in my life..I've never felt anything like that before..
It's so hard to let go of the past and just be...
But I am going to make a bigger effort..for him.

Saturday September 13th..this was a very big day. This was when we both came to the decision that we wanted to be together. And this was the date he told me he loved me.....AAWWWW!

2003-11-17T08:23:00.000-08:00

I was feeling real bad this morning and you helped me feel better...thank you.

My boyfriend and I had a very bad argument and my friend was there to help me sort it out. He's such a cool guy. I hope he finds whatever he's looking for.

actually he wanst my BF as yet....

2003-11-17T08:21:00.000-08:00

well..it's the end of the week and I am so excited....no classes!!

tomorrow I have to babysit my niece. She is so precious. I remember when I heard her sing the alphabet for the first time.. I cried. Thank God it was on the phone....

Family is really important to me..we might not have the best rapport but I know I couldnt survive without them.

I love my niece a lot. She is growing up with her two parents and she seems happy. You should see the way she lights up for her father.
hmmmm I wonder what that feels like?

2003-11-17T08:20:00.000-08:00

well yes...I fell asleep while talking to my friend on the phone yes....lol......i real fucking tired!!!

yes yes..I fell asleep!! I was embarrassed!! I was really tired but I really didnt want to end the conversation.

2003-11-17T08:17:00.000-08:00

Today was a real boss day!
First thing I got 8 hrs of sleep.
All my classes went so well. I didnt have to quarrel or anything!! And the boys understood!! WOOHOO!! Then i found out I was in the papers today..not a bad pic if I do say so myself!!
Then I had a parent's meeting which was really successful. A lot of parents came out and we are making some really exciting plans for the boys..and some parents attributed a change in their son's demeanour to me..hee hee I felt like I was making a difference in someone's life.
Then a friend of mine was in the area so he gave me a drop home...COOL!! A drop is always good.

Now this was my first post. Notice the use of the word "friend" hee hee

2003-11-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

Just testing this out...

2003-11-17T00:28:00.000-08:00

never miss the water till the well runs dry...heh heh heh....
I know I shouldnt feel "happy" but I am glad to prove a point..when I was around constantly calling and enquiring to your well being, you were always short and distant..now i doh have you to study..yuh want to lime..WHY? steups.
You see me in school, you pass me straight..now yuh calling me to lime..WHY????
when things are good, u r around, but when things are bad, you shut me out and I dont hear from you for weeks..dont use me like that....

like mih pardna blaculah does say...MAKE A TUN!!!!

well this was a post about my ex-boyfriend, a guy who works on the same compund as I do. I really liked him yuh know. I thought we were going to be together for a long time. He even wanted me to give birth to his daughter (he has a son already). I had some mixed up ideals back then. He was very manipulative. he thought that I should know when he was mad or upset. there was one time he was having some difficulties with his mother and he said that I should have known that he was upset and should have invited him over. STEUPS. Am I psychic??

When we broke up, he never used to call and talk. It was as if I was completely severed from his life.

well..c'est la vie! I dont have to deal with him anymore.

2003-11-17T00:09:00.000-08:00

This is a blog that basically chronicles all my fav posts in my HOF on TS. I just want to take a look back on all the posts thus far and maybe give a brief explanation